Early Dawn hours..!!!

Being awake at this early dawn hours and turning pages of my book, a feeling constantly making me restless.

That feeling is beyond words and emotions.I knew that sooner i would be aroused by this feeling.And now when i am stuck in this trap,i am feeling blue.I want to run away from all these craps which in some way or other trying to pull me back and  telling me to press the rewind button of the memories i had lived in past 3-4 years.

Many a times i tried to forget those memories which do not belong with me in my present but still there is something which by some means or other forced me to stay with them.

Not more than 24 hours left  at the commencement of my last semester exam,i still remember the day when i  was hell scared before giving my 1st exam of engineering.

Things were so different then than now.Between that day and today,it seems a decade to me not only 4 years.A decade in which many bonds i lost and few i found and me really unsure if i can hold on to them.

And that feeling of uncertainity is somehow hurting me deep inside.

I know soon i have to leave some otherwise once again i would mess everything.It would be painful for them but soon things will be same again.And i am happy that they have their best buddies to take care of them.If i stay, things will fall apart like everytime and we would become strangers..
I want them to be happy and successful in every sphere of their life which i know that they will be sooner or later.

So its better to leave with keeping happy moments alive.And i know some memories i will keep with me forever cause they made me something out of nothing,they made me believe that things always dont go the way we planned,they taught me that its ok to fall at times but it is damn important to get up and carry with the  journey,they taught me that exepcting from someone is a big mistake we can do at times (though i didnt learn anything and still expect and i really dont think that i am going  learn the art of not expecting from someone).

I always fear the silence which takes place after a beautiful time spent.And that silence is enough to break that bond but not enough to wash away the memories.And that is why i feel miserable because i have to carry those memories when i know that the other one is travelling on a different railway track and will never stop in the nearby station as he/she is a galoping train who already washed of those memories.

So as i hear the chirping of birds and witness the 1st ray of sunlight,i feel happy that i am going to miss few of them after few more days when meeting with them will not be a regular routine.Because if you do not miss someone then they really dont matter to you anymore.


Lonely i am,Carrying some broken dreams
Trying to mend broken ties,getting drown more in the turf. 
I sat on the shore,staring hard into the infinity
peace can give goosebump too,i realized silently.
Sea waves do not judge,i rolled with them being lost 
they kissed,patted me hard
for once i let them take away my guard.
Things which i did not say,i regret now of being toung tied
and the remnants of evrything died.
Caged with shackles and misfortunes of my life
I am trying hard to end this loneliness of mine.

Lonely i am,Carrying some hidden fears
Trying to deal with them,but they leave me in tears
I sat on the terrace,staring hard into the endless sky
Why moon always steal the show and stars lose the shine?
The thought makes me numb but i smiled for a while
Cause stars play its act when moon hid behind 
As i wait for this twilight hours to pass,
I know my time will be over soon 
and i will be kicked like a goon.
Caged with shackles and misfortunes of my life
I am trying hard to end this loneliness of mine.

With a feeling of uncertainity i have to hold back this pen for some days as i will  use it on the answer sheet.

Signing off for 10 days from the world of blogsphere...!!!

Thank you..!!!