Let me look back for a final time and salute you 2013 for your lessons.Lets hope 2014 to be a surprise package for me :)

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Not everything in this universe has a name...!!

Dear YOU(2013)


One fine morning you greeted me,

Sowing the ray of hope inside my heart,

With my eyes blinking, i didnot question thee,

The faith instilled pushed me for a new start.

Hope and faith keeps everyone going,

Still I was trembling from inside,

Though it was not a wintry morning,

I was searching a blanket of my past to hide.

Before you came into my life,

I was so sure of few and their positive vibes,
It was the beginning of an end you made me realize,

Still I kept my hopes alive for upcoming bumpy rides.

Can i ask you something?

Why you forced me to go back,

When you knew the disaster forthcoming,

Hey you might not have the answer but dare not turn your back.

How do i only blame you for my bleeding heart,

You advised me to learn from my past,

But I closed my eyes and believed my heart,

For once in my life I was so sure of my act.

For few days I dint know what went wrong,

For few days I kept looking at those blank pages, 

For few days I pretended without them i was strong,

For few days I found me locked inside those cages.

As days passed by you came to my rescue

You taught me not everything is destined to go right,

You taught me to write a new story on those pages rather to drag the past,

You taught me sometimes pretending is the only option left and becomes a habit,

You taught me its our willpower which determines how long our imprisonmet would last.

Today when i am on the verge of entering to a new world,

So badly i want to hold onto them,

But the string that connected us is lost i learned,

And i have to deal alone the mayhem.

Its true we dont need everyone in this caravan,

Few make the odyssey so beautiful ,

Memories get etched in our heart till the end of marathon,

But why i dwell in their memories after getting snubbed is doubtful.

Its time for you to say good bye,

Its time for you to make way for a new lesson of life,

But i will keep you alive in my heart till i die,

Cause you taught me how to live and let go after paying a hefty price.

From,
An unvanquished fellow.

ALL THE BEST as a new dawn awaits you...!!!!

The lane has not changed
Its the same one,
The one we shared for long,
To your simplicity;i was so fond
I visited it recently,
Was walking down reluctantly,
Alone i was;only memories with me
I sat under the oak tree,
My worreis;i set them free.

It was beautiful indeed,
As if happy times re-lived,
The times which i do remember,
And the moments we shared together,
I took a deep sigh,
I was going high.
The oak tree became jealous,
My stint with our memories made him furious,
The shadow soothing my soul;he withdrew
Leaves started falling.

It made me encounter my present,
The bond between us is dwindling,
But i do not fear even if it breaks,
So many times i tried,
Its only ignorance you shot at me,
Doubted my intentions,
You showed me the hard way,
Left me bewildered at the bay,
I waited.
Its too late now to reconcile,
For we will embark on two different paths,
Where uncertainity  prevails certainity,
But the unfinished chapter that we left,
May be not now,
May be it will take time,
May be the oak tree
Will undergo many seasonal changes,
To finish it,i will try my best.

For now i shall not look back,
Else i would lose sight from the track,
Promises are broken,
The base is now left shaken.
Still the care and love i have,
For a dear one like you,
Will never diminish with time,
Neither it will change with  mood swings of mine.

Rest i do not care,
Let the time unravel the knots,
Let us deal with our jolts.
And if you ever visit that lane,
Sit under the oak tree for once,
And if the leaves start falling,
Be sure that the oak tree is jealous,
You will realise the bond was not pretentious.

Goodbyes do not scare me much
So used to them i am,
It cannot take away the memories,
Neither i will keep confronting them too often,
The ending is not like what i dreamt,
May be the almighty have better plans,
Which times will unravel for sure,
Till then
ALL THE BEST is all i can say,
As a new dawn awaits you to play.

You need a PROBLEM,rest will follow..!!!

Some people come across a PROBLEM and try to adjust themselves according to the PROBLEM.
Some people come across a PROBLEM and try to remember all the great heroes who during their own times found a solution to deal with the then persisting PROBLEM for inspiration.Then they dream about what they can possibly do.But the thing is that they never execute their plan.

And then there are people like Arunachalam Murunganantham who not only dreamt about tackling a
                                 
PROBLEM but actually had the courage to implement his idea into reality.

Its almost a year ago,while surfing news channels i came across a program showing a man who recieved a divorce threat from his wife and a threat to get backlisted from his own community.Now in India its not always the same.Unfortunately after 65 years of independence,a woman stands in front of the gun.
So i put down the TV remote and started watching.But for some reasons i had to go out so read the catchy line "A man recieved a divorce threat from his wife and many other threats from his community and yet goes on discovering the cheapest sanitary pads for women ".As i was in a hurry so failed to watch the complete program.

But as i was watching the TED videos few days back,i came across the video of Arunachalam Murunganantham.And believe me after i finished watching it,i had given this man a standing ovation with the crowds present in the audtitorium.This man explained what all it takes to live a meaningful life.And as you are scratching your head,the answer according to him is-
To live a meaningfull life,All you need is a PROBLEM.Your work,Your thingking should be dedicated towards addressing the problem with your designed solution.
He addressed a topic which unfortunately is still considered as a TABOO in India.The topic is
SANITARY NAPKINS.

He invented a way to manufacture cheapest Sanitary Napkins.But it was not possible in a single day.He faced lot of criticisims from his very own people.His wife had threatend him for a divorce and he was chased out from his own village.Despite all the struggle,he went on to fulfill his dream.He embarked on this journey so that his idea would help her wife to use healthy sanitary napkins other than rag which is unhealthy and unhygenic but when his idea took shape in the form of reality it became a boon for every women who could not afford branded sanitary napkins.
The best part in his speech is when he said that he had set up his factory thousand of kilometeres from the reach of MNCs so that it is not used for buisness purpose which mostly MNCs does.

And all this he did being a school dropout.During his speech he used incorrect english which many GRAMMAR NAZIS roaming all over would shout at but he conveyed his idea because communication is not about speaking a language fluently.The point he proved is that education does not always confirms ones ability to learn the values of life.Its how much one takes from his surroundings to learn those values.Even maximum educated people would  have not been able to do what he did.

I still remember the day when our biology teacher skipped few pages from the chapter Reproductive System.She hurriedly finished the chapter and told us to finish the leftover at home.And that was the day the knowledge about Menstruation remained unclear in our heads.Though we cleared it later but by then the word Menstraution turned out to be a part of a joke for boys and for girls it turned out to be something as frightening as a burning flame.
To me menstruation is the same natural process like SHAVING beard is for us.But the way it has been projected through the years has made it a Taboo.There is nothing to hide about it.A child when not told about menstruation in class would certainly assume it to be a off topic and would google about it.Then what is the point in hiding it from him/her.But if the child is taught  in a proper way in the class then there are high chances that he would  percieve it in the correct way.

Not everyone of us can become Arunachalam Murunganantham but we can try in our own ways to make this world a better place.This person has proved once again that the journey of miles can be completed only if the traveller has taken the first small step.Kudos to this man for his invention.
You can listen to this man speaking about his invention in the video posted below-

His Wikipedia Page
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arunachalam_Muruganantham.

Franklin Templeton Investments partnered the TEDxGateway Mumbai in December 2012..

Thank you.

PARENTS:Take Care of them,Rest will be taken care by GOD.

"Tring- Tring, the phone rang…!"
A voice full of calmness echoed from the other side
"Hello,Can i speak to Mr.Samar ??"
"Yes" he replied
"Hi Samar its Avinash here.I would like to know about the health insurance scheme you have chosen"
"The last thing i dont want after a hectic schedule at office is to talk to some health insurance agent.Sorry i do not have time."He interrupted and lashed out at the person on the other side of the call.

He put his cellphone on the table and later activated DNDs(Do not disturb service) on his number so that incidents like this do not repeat in future.After spending almost 12 hours in office and travelling from office to home in heavy traffic he always try to manage time to spend with his family.This stupid calls from mobile companies,health insurance agents,real state agents used to ignite the demon in him and all the anger that he was suppressing in his heart against his TL(Team lead) and project manager, he would vent all on those unlucky yet chained agents.Sometimes he enjoyed shouting at them.

Samar had joined the company almost a year ago.Once Vinay told him about something that he ignored then.Now when he remembered his words,the name of the person who was on the other side of the call resembled with the name Vinay told him about.Vinay told him that almost all of their batchmates got a call from this person who would address himself as some Avinash and would enquire about the health insurance plan the employee has chosen.
In this IT industry every MNC offers some health insurance schemes that cover the employees and their parents.To get the benefeit in any medical emergency,the employees need to pay a premium amount annually which is deducted from their salary.Samar always thought this things to be a secondary one and at times even unimportant.The next day when he went office, he was humilated by his project manager in front of the entire batch.The crime he committed was that he only asked his project manager about his poor appraisal rating as he had worked hard than many throughout the year.

Notwithstading the humilation,Samar was fuming from inside.When he reached home he skipped his dinner and went straight to his bedroom.He was cursing my PM badly.Suddenly his cell virbated again.As he picked up, the same voice echoed from the other side
"Hello Samar,its Avinash here.
I will not take more than two minutes time of your busy schedule.I just want to know the health insurance plan you have chosen.Now a days its important to choose a balance insurance plan.I can help you in choosing one"
"Listen Mr. Avinash,I dont know you but if you have not chosen any insurance scheme for you yet then please choose one because if you disturb me again then surely i would beat you till death and then you would be in serious need of your insurance scheme"he interrupted him and vented out everything that he was holding back since morning in that one line.

Few days passed and one day while he was busy in his work he recieved a call.It was Pihu on the other side.
"Papa rush quicky,Dadu is not well"
"Do not worry beta.Tell mamma.She will take care of your dadu"
"Papa she cant.Doctors are saying that he has been put on ventilation and nothing can be predicted within next 24 hours"the phone slipped from my hands.
The news was unexpected as Samar’s father was a healthy man and has always been concious about his diet which many ignores at the age of 77.A fear gripped his and he was like a small kid praying continuosly to God for the well being of his father.Its when we are in complete mess and totally screwed up in life that we remember the all mighty and he was too not an exception.He suddenly calculated in his mind about the available cash at that moment to him and it turned out to be approximately 1 lakh 17 thousand rupees.Rest that he has saved till then for emergency situation like this was in his bank account.But adding to his cursed fate he somehow forgot that it was a ALL INDIA BANDH going that day and even banking sector was participating in that strike so the option of withdrawing cash from bank ceased.So he kicked off his bike taking the cash from home on the way and headed to B.C. Birla Heart Research Institute.

He reached hospital where he enquired about his father to the receptionist.And the first thing before letting him know how his father was doing they told him to deposit 2 lakh rupees and to consult with Dr. Shweta Bhagve.He hugged Pihu who was continuously sobbing and Navya was standing a few meteres away.She stared at him and gave him "Everything will be fine " type expression.Samar wondered how during the most difficult situation women can withstand the pressure and yet can be so calm at the sametime which men lack certainly.He thanked Navya for being there.Suddenly he saw a doctor coming out from ICU.When he asked her about his father she told that he had a massive heart attack leading to blockage of arteries.The last option available to them was to go for Bypass surgery.She told him to deposit 2 lacs immediately and to sign a bond.He requested her to go for the operation and assured her that the rest 80 thousand ruppees would be deposited the following day.But she didnot listen and also warned him that delaying the operation would be fatal for his father.He scratched his head and almost reached out to every possible contacts that he could but still he was getting short of 30 thousand bucks.

As tears started rolling down Navya came to him and offered her earrings and chain and told to offer them to the accounts department so that they can take them back once the bills are cleared.As Samar approached the accounts department they denied him and he was left helpless again but was astonished to hear that someone already paid the remaining amount.When he enquired about that living God who did such good to him, they said that he left a note for him.But he gnored the note and kept it in his pocket and ran to ICU room no 21.The red light was switched on which took away a burden from his shoulder.He thought if only he had planned some insurance plan for his parents without keeping money in some bank account,he could have avoided this mess.

And a message tone beeped.
It was from Vinay"Hey buddy i could only arrange 10k and on my way.Will be there wihtin 15 minutes.By the way our PM got transfered to onsite and we have a new one as Avinash.And we found out that he was the same guy who used to enquire about insurance scheme"
As he read the last sentence he hurriedly took the note from his pocket and read it

Hello Samar,
Before i introduce myself to you i want to tell you something.Around 5 years ago i was facing the same situation that you are in right now.I was earning a decent salary and never bothered to plan my savings and used to keep a hefty amount from my salalry in banks offering 14% interest rates on fixed deposits.But when i needed the money most,i ran out of cash and my ill fate took away my mother.I lost her.Despite working in a MNC i could not arrange the cash and it was only because of my foolishness as i lacked in looking at the bigger picture of life.The only difference back then was that no one helped me with the remainng cash.So from then i made a promise to me and to my dead mother that whoever comes into our organization,i would request each of them to opt a balance insurance plan.I never told my identity to anyone as it was easy that way and i was also serving onsite.So it helped me keeping my identity safe.

But today when i was posted offshore and took the responsibility of your team as project manager i was infromed about your situation.So i paid the reamaining amount.I am not any God Samar.I only did this because i was looking for last 5 years to reduce the sin that i had committed.Everyone is not lucky Samar.But atleast we can plan our earning so that our parents who spent their everything to give us a better life can get the benefeit when it is needed.And that is the reason that i called you twice.I dont know if you would still want to kill me or not but one thing i can tell you that in life we often get so much self centered that we forget about them without whom we would not have reached where we are today.So we need jolts to come back and to face the reality.I was not lucky that day but i know that my mother is blessing me for my deed and today when i will sing bedtime prayers i would feel a little less chained of my sin.
And if you want to repay me then join my movement and encourage each one of your colleagues to plan their earning and make them aware of this emergency situations.Who knows how many Samar and Avinash are still living their life without looking at the bigger picture of life.
Take care of your family.They are the ones who will stand beside you even when your conscience fails to stand by you.
Looking forward to work with you.

From
Avinash

Tears were rolling down his cheeks.He scolded himself for hurting Avinash with harsh words without even letting him complete his part during that phonecall.Still he helped him when he needed most.Avinash was not less than any living God to him.He thanked him silently from the bottom of his heart.
He thought whether he deserved enough to have parents who would still forgive him for his mistakes,to get a girl like Navya who accepted his family like her own, to have a little angel Pihu in his life,to have colleagues who tried to help him out however smal or big the problem was,to get a helping hand from Avinash who was no less than a living God to him.

Suddenly someone patted him on his shoulders
"Samar the operation is successful but we have to keep your father under strict observation till next 48 hours"Dr Shweta said.

Samar thought that he was saved from committing a sin.He smiled and cried both at the same time.May be he needed the blow.He hugged Pihu and Navya and prayed God for mercy.

He saw something scribbled on a board on the wall beside the doors of ICU.He read-

“LOOL AT THE BIGGER PICTURE OF LIFE
BEFORE YOU ENTER ”

Meet an old friend...!!!

                                                        Click for the image source.

After we passout from our schools we hardly get in touch with our school friends.School days when life was like a smooth road and we were like kids riding the bicycle without knowing where that road would lead us to.Yes everyone of us miss those days and we always search a way to have a glimpse of those days once again.But after those carefree days are gone our life also drives us on a different road which never promises to be a smooth one.Sometimes we enjoy the ups and downs while shifting the gears and sometimes we are shattered by few downs and take time to hold the steering of life once again.And as we get busy shaping our life we hardly get time to meet old friends.

The same happened with me too.After i passed out from school,i got busy shifting the gears as life was driving me onto a completely new road where stoppages had different names.And in the meanwhile i lost touch with a good school friend of mine.As i visited Mumbai last time and was plannig to visit some places during the monsoon,suddenly the thought of meeting him popped into my mind.For meeting him i had to travel from Mumbai to Pune.It was my last chance to meet him as i would not be visiting Mumbai in a year unless i am posted there for my job.So i boarded Singhad Express from Thane.The journey was a pure bliss.Words will be short to portray the beautiful nature that i witnessed.The waterfalls will take you to a world so much different from the one you are currently in.It took around three and half hours to reach Pune.I waited near the stairs of platform no 1 for him to pick me up.After almost 20 odd minutes he turned up and i spotted ROHIT  in the crowd first.And we ran and hugged each other.It lasted for 20 seconds but enough to make me believe that nothing changed in last four years between us.The last time we hugged when we bade adieu each other on the farewell day. 

It took 30 minutes to reach his home.Uncle,aunty and his sister greeted me with a smile.Soon it was dinner time and my tummy tasted some pure marathi veg dishes.It was a lovely experience having those dishes as it brought back those memories of chats we used to had in recess time while relishing each other tiffins.After a lovely dinner we jumped to bed quickly as i was tired.But when two old friends meet after a long gap then no matter how much tired they are,they will chit chat all the time.We talked about the times that we both encountered in past years.He told me about his college friends and about his college life and how his academics of MCA keeps him busy.I was also being enquired about whether somone came into my life or not.But the excitement that he held for so long turned into a sad smile as i replied him in negation.And then we finally dozed off promising each other to finish the remaining tales in the next morning.

Next morning we went upstairs and talked for long under the cloudy sky.The same sky under which we used to sit and discuss about how days after school would be like.And as it is said the moment you start enjoying life,it is when time passes by like a speedy wind.The wind soothes your soul but only for a short duration.We realized that time flew past quickly and still so many unsaid words to be said.But i had to return Mumbai on the same day.So after lunch,i left his house and headed to SWARGATE.The main bus depot in PUNE from where busses for MUMBAI departs.I bought a ticket for THANE and there was still 15 minutes for departure.A nostalgia gripped me as i knew it would be a long time when i meet him again.But i was happy from inside.The happiness that i waited for so long lastly kissed me.Its true that the kiss lasted for a short time but the ectasy will be with me for long.I hugged him for the last time.But this itme we didnot promise each other of being in touch as life in past few years taught us a lesson that sometimes it is better not to promise anything to anyone.Because when we fail to keep those promises we get hurt but happiness out of any expectation is the best.We bade each other goodbyes with a smile and i boarded the bus.

The weather was a chilled one and return journey was even more beautiful as it was monsoon in Pune.Witnessed soothing views from the bus but was sad as i could not take clear pics because of raindrops on the window pane.There was a continuous smile on my face like those old days.Beside me there was a lady with whom i was chit chatting about the scenery outside.

"Hey you are very happy i guess..any special reason???"She finally asked me.

"Meet an old friend...you will see the curve your life has taken while you were busy shifting the gears...!!!" I replied.

I dont know why i said something weird like that.And as expected she gave me an expression like i failed to give correct answer in front of Amitabh Bacchan in KBC. 

Finally i dozed off listening to the tune Bavra Mann Dekhne Chala Ek Sapna. :) :) 

Thanks for the patience you showed while reading this long post. :)

What if .....???

Life is indeed an enigma,with so many riddles to solve,
Some follow certain rules,some do not maintain any decorum,
Yet we hope to unravel those,ruining our present and living in future,
Tomorrow is never promised,it is the present that we should nurture.
Always you will get the second chance,you know that is not the culture.

Sometimes you have to act while breaking the pact
Heal the wounds kept open for so long,
or say sorry to someone you did wrong,
Express your feelings to the one you care,
or see someone smile and the reason being you dear,
Thank the one for being with you so long,
or clear the misunderstandings that once hurt the bond,
Do the things you always avoided till now
or help someone keeping his/her vow. 

It is scary to even think of not getting a second shot,
Still we ignore when we are given another chance.
We are so busy in unraveling the tiny knot,
Need a blow to wake up from the deep trance.
What if tomorrow never comes???
What if not given another chance???
Yet we surrender without trying,ruining our present and living in future,
Tomorrow is never promised,it is the present that we should nurture.
Always you will get the second chance,you know that is not the culture.

BLESSED I am..!!!

They said let the wind blow

It will ease the pain,

I said the wind will follow its course

Why to expect any gain.

They said let the sea waves hit you 

It will make you strong,

I said i am not any chord
Why to expect any melodious song.

They said let the parting sun 

Promise you a beautiful dawn,

I said the sun will set into darkness

Why to expect as i will be left to yawn.

They said let someone close to you 

Hold your hand,

I said i had enough of ignorance

Why to expect when i know their stand.

Terribly shaken with a fear of loss

Slowly i walked away from them,

Into the darkness of my thoughts

To search for the long lost peace.

Suddenly a gentle stroke in my hair i felt

And a voice i heard,

The voice so familiar to me

Yet so distatnt it seemed.

Life is a boulevard of broken dreams

Some are bad and some are good

Some will let you be the king

Some will snatch your kingdom

But you must desire to dream

Otherwise at the end you will only scream.

I opened my eyes and saw her smiling

I thought how easy for her

to love me knowing my flaws,

to know me completely,

to be sure that i had a terrible dream.

I hugged my MOTHER 

Promised to be by her side forever,

I felt a constant inner peace

and the dawn was beautiful indeed.

Come to me...!!!

Smile,the world will dance with you,
Ignore,when the world is dancing without you,
Love,when the world is throwing stones at you,
Care,it would make someone belive in you.

Soar,when everyone belittle you,
Keep your hope alive,when everyone lost faith in you,
Keep your mouth shut,when everyone blabbering about you,
Share,it would lessen the pain eating away the soul in you.

When everyone has turned you down,
When everyone left you without any reason,
When every broken promises tear you apart,
Come to me,i will not let you fall,
Come to me,i will not let you down,
Come to me,i will care for you then too,
Come to me,cause i know the pain of going alone. 

For that you have to travel miles
May have to cross some bridges too,
Thorns you will get on the way
Do not fear,
I will be standing right on the shore,
With a boat that will take us away
to a distant land
Where WE overshadows I,
Where LOVE overcomes HATRED,
Where every DAWN is BEAUTIFUL,
Where HUMANITY is above ALL.

But now for a while
I must face the storm alone,
I cannot risk you with me
The surviving chance is low,

The journey ahead is stormier 

Much more scarier than i thought.

So,let me put the sail,
Let it propel me through the storm
And if i survive
Come to me,i will not fail you again
My unsaid words,i will reveal
And if i dont
Come to me,search my lifeless body
while i lay in peace,
Words on this paper
will wait for your gentle touch.
.

P.S.- a poem for my short story..thought of sharing.. :)

Thank you..!!!

Believe me..!!!

Today you were not the same
dont know why,
May be i did something bad
that broke the trust you had.

You smiled 
as if things going right,
I asked  the reason
that is holding you back,
You said everything is fine
and i worry too much.

I held your hand
promised that i will not let you go
You smiled again
as if the promise is not new anymore.

I hugged you tight,
Promised my words will not fail,
Your smile was gone
I sensed you didnt hug me back.

After a long pause you muttered
I am free to go
You will not pull me back
Cause i suffered too much.

I asked again
the reason of teardrops in your eyes,
You looked away
Oh now i know
The reason of your being different
You fear i wil leave you ??
You fear she would take me away from you??

You are wrong,
How do i make you believe,
Its you who spoke with me
When everyone got busy with their life.
Its you who told me
life is like this always,
People do forget once the serving is done.
Its you and on your shoulders
i vented everything out,.
Its you who vowed
to be with me everytime.
when i lost my shine.

Believe me 
no one can take me away,
as i am made to live this way
sooner she gonna leave me
and  i will need you back
to fill the void.

Believe me 
no one can break the bond,
sooner she gonna break my trust
and i will need you back
to repair my heart.

Believe me 
no one can keep us apart,
we will meet again
when i will watch her go 
out of my sight
and i will need you back
to wash away my eyes.

Believe me and my words
cause they are true
we will have our time again
when she will be chasing her dreams
without me
and i will need you back
to embrace me.  



P.S.-Here "you" represent the loneliness that the person is addressing.
As my 1st exam of last semester was not bad so wrote this piece and broke my own rule of not coming back to this blogging world before 10 days.Do pray that the rest goes good too.

Thank you.!!!

Early Dawn hours..!!!

Being awake at this early dawn hours and turning pages of my book, a feeling constantly making me restless.

That feeling is beyond words and emotions.I knew that sooner i would be aroused by this feeling.And now when i am stuck in this trap,i am feeling blue.I want to run away from all these craps which in some way or other trying to pull me back and  telling me to press the rewind button of the memories i had lived in past 3-4 years.

Many a times i tried to forget those memories which do not belong with me in my present but still there is something which by some means or other forced me to stay with them.

Not more than 24 hours left  at the commencement of my last semester exam,i still remember the day when i  was hell scared before giving my 1st exam of engineering.

Things were so different then than now.Between that day and today,it seems a decade to me not only 4 years.A decade in which many bonds i lost and few i found and me really unsure if i can hold on to them.

And that feeling of uncertainity is somehow hurting me deep inside.

I know soon i have to leave some otherwise once again i would mess everything.It would be painful for them but soon things will be same again.And i am happy that they have their best buddies to take care of them.If i stay, things will fall apart like everytime and we would become strangers..
I want them to be happy and successful in every sphere of their life which i know that they will be sooner or later.

So its better to leave with keeping happy moments alive.And i know some memories i will keep with me forever cause they made me something out of nothing,they made me believe that things always dont go the way we planned,they taught me that its ok to fall at times but it is damn important to get up and carry with the  journey,they taught me that exepcting from someone is a big mistake we can do at times (though i didnt learn anything and still expect and i really dont think that i am going  learn the art of not expecting from someone).

I always fear the silence which takes place after a beautiful time spent.And that silence is enough to break that bond but not enough to wash away the memories.And that is why i feel miserable because i have to carry those memories when i know that the other one is travelling on a different railway track and will never stop in the nearby station as he/she is a galoping train who already washed of those memories.

So as i hear the chirping of birds and witness the 1st ray of sunlight,i feel happy that i am going to miss few of them after few more days when meeting with them will not be a regular routine.Because if you do not miss someone then they really dont matter to you anymore.


Lonely i am,Carrying some broken dreams
Trying to mend broken ties,getting drown more in the turf. 
I sat on the shore,staring hard into the infinity
peace can give goosebump too,i realized silently.
Sea waves do not judge,i rolled with them being lost 
they kissed,patted me hard
for once i let them take away my guard.
Things which i did not say,i regret now of being toung tied
and the remnants of evrything died.
Caged with shackles and misfortunes of my life
I am trying hard to end this loneliness of mine.

Lonely i am,Carrying some hidden fears
Trying to deal with them,but they leave me in tears
I sat on the terrace,staring hard into the endless sky
Why moon always steal the show and stars lose the shine?
The thought makes me numb but i smiled for a while
Cause stars play its act when moon hid behind 
As i wait for this twilight hours to pass,
I know my time will be over soon 
and i will be kicked like a goon.
Caged with shackles and misfortunes of my life
I am trying hard to end this loneliness of mine.

With a feeling of uncertainity i have to hold back this pen for some days as i will  use it on the answer sheet.

Signing off for 10 days from the world of blogsphere...!!!

Thank you..!!!

Take away your mask...!!!

Take away your mask
let that hidden face,
come out and hit me
with the truth
suppressed in you for so long,
Do not you worry
cause i will survive again.

I fear looking your eyes
cause my heart ache
for the truth it hides from me
I know sooner it will rain.

Every moment spent with you
is a moment i treasure,
with all the chords
of my heart
in this deadly dessert.

Today i delved
into those eyes,
a way to the real you i found
but lost the game
as you put the mask again.

But now i fear
was that you
or someone else?
with whom i had
those moments of cheer.

Take away your mask
It will be hard
It will tear me apart
It will pain,
Do not you worry
cause i will survive again.

Losing you is not what i fear
life would also be the same
but deep down i know
I would never trust someone again.

Take away your mask
let that hidden face,
come out and hit me
with the truth
suppressed in you for so long,
Do not you worry
cause i will survive again.

Heard that...!!!

At times we are not sure if our staying matters  to someone.So it is always better to leave after trying  number of times rather dragging the relation(friendship or any other bond) and making things more difficult.

Heard that a scar is hard to heal
maybe the line is weird
but now i fear
cause i do not know how to deal.

Heard that grass is always green on the other side
but do not judge me ,
you dont know
how i dealt with the tide.

Heard that dreams are lost if not taken care
but i always tried to walk the miles,
still you ignored
tell me how you dare..?

Heard that expectation always hurt
but it turned a myth after we met,
i did expect your trust 
everything turned into a frozen dessert.

Heard that you are numb
but do not let that spark die,
the beautiful soul in you i witnessed 
must not turn into a meaningless scum.

Heard that you are in pain
remember the memories we had
they will make you go mad
hey just dance a while in the rain.

Heard that time always heal the wound
but i must not mess your life anymore
cause it is what others say me good at
now its my turn to leave
so here i  vow
its only few more days before i GO.


Thank you..!!!

MANJIL...!!!

maine majhi se mere manjil ka rasta pucha,
wo  burbura ke kehne laga manjil ka pata nahi
par tumhare karwan mein ye kashti tumhare sath rahega.
mai bhi anjaan tha duniya ke is khel se,kashti nikale chal pada
dariya ke jaise behta gaya is bhool bhulaiya mein .
aandhi ne mere manjil ko mujhse cheena
rah chalte humsafar ne bhi saath choda
mai tut gaya,bharosa khud se khoya
zindagi ki kashti ne mera sath nahi choda.
tasalli maine apne nadaan dil ko diya,
manjil kuch door hai,rootha hai
ye karwan thoda aur lamba hoga,
roothe hue un rishton ko firse suljha lenge
khoye hue lamhon mein apna aashiyan basa lenge.

Deadly TRAP..!!!

I walked down the same lane not knowing why again
The memories of my past hugged  me with its open arms,
The debris i carried for long made its toll heavy on me
Finally i gave in,looked around for a while.

The sun was about to hide behind the horizon
making way for darkness to spread all over,
The daggers of heat left
making way for cold breeze to soothe my naked soul.

After all those years of togetherness and the bonding we shared
When she said that i am her prince and she is my princess
When life was a bitch
But her presence made it more beautiful than Marilyn Monroe.

I only wished for an angel
but not at the cost of her,
Her dark chocolate eyes 
and pink lips didnot stop me
and i fell in the trap.

For all those promises we made and the time we spent
Everything is like now a delicate dream,
which i crushed with my own hand
and she left
to let me die in this deserted sand.

Only thing which stopped me to reach her
were those fireflies eyes and soft fingers,
as if it was she reborn again
so i am still carrying with the pain.

The innocent voice echoed "Papa why mamma left us"
Shall i tell her the truth ?
Shall i let her know ?
But how do i make her believe
that  papa took her mamma away !!



P.S.- Well the above lines describe the condition of a man who lost his wife on the day he was blessed with         a beautiful angel.He is now standing at a crossroad, not able to decide whether to tell his daughter the truth that her mother was suffering from a disease and still they tried for a baby or he should never reveal this bitter truth to her.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. :)

Thank you..!!!

Baanwra dil...!!!

aaj baarish ki boondon ne kuch yun farmaya 

mujhe mere tanhapan ka ehsas firse dilaya,

yun toh ye ehsas har waqt mere sath hai

har zarre mein tumhari bewafai ka gam hai.

aaj bhi is baanwre dil ko samjhata hun

rail ki do patriyan kabhi mil nahi pate

majhdhar mein chod jane wale wapas nahi aate,

dil toh baanwra hai

wo toh aaj bhi kuch sapne dekhta hai,

bhuli bisri yaadon mein wo khush hota hai.

aksar ye palkein akele roya karta tha

baanwre dil ne bhi aaj inka saath diya.

aaj baarish ki boondon ne kuch yun farmaya 

mujhe mere tanhapan ka ehsas firse dilaya.

Another birthday....!!!

When I woke up that day, it was raining heavily outside.Suddenly,something struck me in my head but I was not able to figure that out. Then I got a call from my mom and she wished me happy birthday. Yes,it was my birthday and I had turned 28 that day. Its hard to remember simple things of life when u are away from ur home, staying in an unknown city and serving  foreign clients 10-12 hrs a day.

As soon as I placed my cell, I received a call from Devina.She wished me the same and also asked whether I told my mother about our 2 yr old relationship – or not. That day I told my mother about my relationship with Devina. At first, she was shocked but then told me she  would like to meet  Devina . I was confident enough that she will like my choice. I booked a table for 3 in the most prestigious hotel of Mumbai. I always dreamt of taking my mother there. Having lost my father at an early age, my mother played dual role for me.She was everything to me right from my childhood.

After all the arrangements done,I called Devina to tell her about the plan. She was extremely happy that day. She even asked me whether she would wear a saree or a salwar. I suggested her to wear the salwar -which I gifted her around 2 months back on her bday. she agreed. Finishing my office works early, left for home, took my mother who arrived that morning in my apartment and we were on our way to THE TAJ, - the majestic Taj. Devina was already there as she had this quality unlike most of the girls reaching on time. She greeted my mother and we went inside the hotel.

I was eagerly looking for a plan so that I could leave both of them alone. I knew my mother would not be comfortable talking Devina in my presence..so I decided to leave them alone for few mins.As per my plan I left saying -that i have to attend an emergency  call and I will be back in 15-20 mins.I reached near Gateway of India  and  texted Devina saying I will be back in the next 20 mins.

I was enjoying the beauty of the sea from Gateway of india. For everyone who comes to Mumbai, be Indian or a foreigner  undoubtedly Gateway of india is one of the most favourite places to hang around in India.  Everyone loves  to enjoy the scenic beauty out there.The couples who were  sitting at the bank of the sea reminded me of Devina. Then I turned my head towards the magnificent TAJ standing tall. I was becoming restless guessing about their conversation .The only thing I was thinking about  was that whether my mother liked Devina or not.

 Suddenly everyone started running near the main entrance of Taj and sounds of gunshots can be heard clearly. I ran towards the gate but was not able to enter as everyone was coming out from the base floor of the hotel. I was thrown out – by the people .I asked someone who was just coming out from the hotel ”what is going on inside ?”..he was breathing heavily and replied-“few armed people are firing indiscriminately inside. And with this he got out of my sight in no time . My heartbeats stopped for a minute or so. After few minutes, it was clear to everyone present there that it is a terrorist attack and not any –Mumbaiya gangwar. The attack continued for almost 60 long hours. Those 60 hours were the worst time of my life like many others whose relatives  were trapped inside the Taj -in the hands of few men.

      I was praying for my mother and Devina. I was cursing myself for leaving them alone – but of no use, I couldn’t get them back to home with me. The only thing I can do was to pray and follow news related to Taj. I was dying every moment. Days seemed to be longer than years. Then after 60 long hours, the NSG commandoes brought the dead bodies out. And among -those dead bodies, two were mine – the two most important persons of my life, the two loveliest people I meet ever, Devina and my mother. The white salwar suit that I gifted Devina  had turned red , soaked in blood. For the first time  I was watching my mother taking a nap like that, still not able to believe that she will not wake up this time and say to me ”aaye shona,amar kache aaye”(Come my boy,come to me). Those 60 hrs took away the two most important women of my life and with which I also lost my voice like my mother and Devina . After 26/11 I died every time I saw a couple walking down the street or when a child playing with his mother. Everytime the news channels showed the documentaries of 26/11 attack I died many times watching it.

4 years passed,today  is my birthday.It was raining then and it is raining today as well.But I know that neither my mother nor Devina going to wish me today but  they are blessing me wherever they are.Life is getting worse day by day without them.Even the tears have dried up now. When I switched on my TV, I saw the news of Kasab, one of terrorists responsible for turning Taj into a war field on 26/11 and the lone terrorist caught alive hanged atlast. The news refreshed all the memories of that day. Everyone who suffered the attack try to forget but its impossible to wash out those images from our brain. Yes,this is indeed a happy moment for all of us,I lost all hopes that in this life,I will die without witnessing this moment.

After 5 days,when I will go to TAJ hotel for lighting the candles  with fellow survivors of that deadly attack,I can look up at the sky to both of them and can say that Kasab is dead now. But the real justice  wil be done when the actual perpetrator of the attack will be no more in this world.Not physically but when the thoughts they spread in the name of “Jihaad” inside the young men like Kasab -and others  will -get washed off. Executing Kasab will only feed a base blood lust that will make our society  more bloodthirsty and violent but with no doubt he doesn’t deserve anything less than that. Maybe it will take some time, but the death of Kasab has given us a ray of hope.

P.S.: This is a fictional one,completely based on my imagination.There are many true incidents and stories which are more depressing than this.26/11 taken place 4 years ago,those who haven’t suffered the attack for them this one is just like some other terrorist attack,but who survived the attack their lives are changed forever.RIP to all 166 people who lost  their life and also to all those brave mens who laid their lives saving our country like ASHOK KAMTE,VIJAY SALASKAR,HEMANT KARKARE,TUKARAM OMBLE,MAJOR SANDEEP UNNI KRISHNAN and many more.Our president did a great job rejecting the mercy petition of AJMAL KASAB .21st novemeber will be remembered for a long time.And lets hope that all those big fish behind this attack also be punished  as quickly as possible.The death of Kasab really given us that ray of hope.

----------------------

1st short fictional story by me... any feedback or suggestions would be appreciated..thanx :)

Remaining days of college life..hum rahe ya na rahe yaad aayenge ye pal..!!!

Books everywhere
Scattered notes here and there,
Sound of ticking clock
makes me miserable,
And i shut my eyes
Drowned in my own thoughts
Everything around
Telling me time is going fast,
Moments are not going to last.

Slowly I walked down the memory lane
The past memories making me sane
Suddenly a figure appeared
Head bent low
Eyes with tears
But still a smile on the face
As if he dealt with the uncertainities
and came without any fear.

A few more miles down the lane
The figure appeared again
Head bent low
Scary eyes
But still a smile on the face
As if after many betrayals
Life rewarded him someone to trust again.

As I walked down the memory lane
A mosquito bite brought me back,
My eyes on the calender date
My heart skipped a beat
And it took some time
to get back in the rhythm.


The pumping organ realized
Saying GOODBYE to everyone is nearing,
It fought with the logical brain
For scolding him being emotional,
Brain also shouted back
"Idiot why are you unhappy??
You waited for the moment and the time is now."
No reply from the pumping organ
As it felt a void
And the logical organ won the argument.

Somehow scolding my heart
And keeping all emotions aside,
I looked through the window pane
Everything on the other side
Seemed to be an illusion,
Cold horror ran through my spine
Time is running fast
Wish i could slow down its pace.

Few odd days to go
To create some new memories
Which will be with me
When i will be all alone
To lead this stinking life,
And i shut my eyes
Drowned in my own thoughts
Everything around
Telling me time is going fast,
Moments are not going to last.

Lost Chance..!!!

I read those lines again
which you said long ago
but today those words staring at me
as if i am the culprit.

Twenty one consonants
and five vowels 
gazing at me hard,
may be they are aware 
of your unsaid words.

I stare at the blank screen
or its the other way around,
I guess the screen stares hard
the blank life i am in.

You said i betrayed you
You blamed me ,
I never explained what i did 
because i know that wont fit.

Betrayal was not what i did
a little more time what i sought,
But you gave the deadline
which i failed to abide
and lost the chance.

Those dark brown eyes 
outlined with kohl,
eyes that said so much
but today they are shining
and the reason being someone else.

Wish that i could hit the SEND button
and clear the clouds between us
but like every other MAIL
and every suppressed words of mine 
this piece is too dumped in DRAFTS

I read those lines again
which you said long ago
but today those words staring at me
as if i am the culprit.

Help Strangers...You will be BLESSED..!!!

Life is moving fast and we are continuously running hard to accomplish our dreams.In this so called busy world we dont even look whether anyone needs a helping hand or not.And if by chance we care to look around,we still dont offer our helping hand because we are too busy with our own race.After reading a news headline i am just shocked and also sad.Lack of ethics and careless attitude by few people took away two innocent lives today.

The news headline "ROAD MISHAP TOOK TWO INNOCENT LIVES IN JAIPUR"  was common one in modern society.Its not anything new.Every day number of people die due to road accidents.The above mentioned headline is about a family which went through a catastrophe today.The father was riding his motorcycle through a tunnel accompanied by his 8 year old daughter,son and wife.When the man overtook a truck after driving few meteres in the tunnel then,a truck smashed him and sped away.Fortunately the man and his son survived but he lost his wife and 8 year old daughter.

The terrrible thing is that after the mishap took place the man cried for help for 10-20 minutes and no one bothered to stop.Not a single person helped them. Its when the tunnel maintenance workers noticed them and informed the police. By the time Ambulance arrived at the spot, the son had already lost his mother and sister.

But truely speaking the father is also responsible for the demise of his daughter and his wife.He will blame himself for killing them because the tunnel which he was driving through is banned for two wheelers.Stiil just to save  few minutes he took the risk.And the price he paid will haunt him for the remaining days of his life.

The son who survived would probably grow up without love and affection from his mother and sister.

So its a request to all of you who think that just because you have a two wheeler under your butt and you can win the race,

then please keep in mind that you are not only gambling with your life but some more lives may also get affected with you careless attitude.

And also if some of you come across any such incident then atleast give a thought and help them.You will be blessed.

Thank you..!!!

GOODBYE..!!!

Its just a seven letter word if you know the basic rule of counting.But as you grow up,only the number of letters dont count.You also come to know that there is something more hidden behind that seven letter word.And then you almost start smashing your head on walls that why you grew up.

Just jotted down few lines while sitting idle on a rainy evening.Would like to know if you can connect yourself with the lines :)

Standing on the verge 

with hope in my eyes,

someone will believe me

because my eyes dont lie.

You chased the wrong one

for that i warned you many times

but it was of no use

as you thought i was holding you back.

I waited for you

to come back from your dreams,

but the wait seemed longer 

and atlast it broke me apart.

Down the years you will know

you had someone,

who only wished to walk beside you

not to hold your hands 

but to gaze at your eyes.

I tried my best and i tried hard

but a scar always remained 

which took off my guard.

I have no regret of leaving you

as i realized you left me long back

but still i was there

hoping for your come back.

You have ur priorites and i have mine

still we vowed to be in touch with time,

Now i know nothing can be undone

as those myths busted with passing time.

Life will never be the same

it wont be bad either

because i choose not to suffer

as i hv some other things to ponder

and some more miles to travel.

If someday our paths cross again

i will smile,

for the wonderful moments we spent

and the secrets we shared

till then i have to go away

to fight with the demon in me 

and to survive this deadly cob web around.

With hope in my eyes

that our paths will cross again

as you only made me believe

that hope never dies,

wishing you a haapy life

and believe me this is the final GOODBYE.

Thank you..!!!

Random thoughts..!!

insaniyat aap mein bhi hai,

insaniyat mujh mein bhi hai

bas fark sirf itna hai

aapko sirf wo ek shabd lagta hai,

mujhe  uska matlab bhi pata hai.

Got late for new blog post,the reason being the hectic schedule of college and project submission.I will come with some interesting post in the coming days.Ok now this is also going to be another boring blogpost but give it a shot if you want to.

Its just another incident that i gone through recently. We all have heard the line many times that from someone whom we expect a lot can also hurt us a lot.
But at times when you do not expect anything from someone but still you help them for the sake of humanity and only thing you are rewarded with is betrayal.
And then you realize that your concept of humanity is not respected by everyone.How much you do for them,it is not going to satisfy their needs.

Life is always a roller coaster ride.The ups and downs can never be predicted early in advance.But as human being we always try to predict the behaviour of ones whom we least expect to be harmlful for us.And this leads to ignorance which at times can be a fatal one and can strike you so hard that hardly u will be given time to cope up with the blow.
The horrible thing is that they dont even regret after doing so.

Today we had our project submision.And for developing the system i worked hard.I know exact and detail information about the system i made.While submitting i noticed the guy beside me busy with his codes.But when i called one of the faculty to check my project,he just said that the guy beside me showed him the same project.For a moment i didnot get what he was saying to me but after he went to check other projects,the guy beside me told me that he just showed  my project to sir.And he was saying that to with ease.No regret or whatsoever on his face.I helped many with codes but he never asked me for any help.I mailed it to one of my friend and he just took it from him that i came to know later.Many times in past i helped him when he was in need not beacuse he was a dear friend of mine.Only because someone helped me once when i was a complete stranger to him.So i made it a point to help anyone who is in need if it is possible for  me.But today he proved me wrong.I dont have any hard feelings for him just because he showed my work.Because i know that i worked hard with the design part and the code.I only felt bad because his behaviour compelled me to think about the term 'HUMANITY'.In the coming days i will be cautious helping someone and about my work.

But still for that strange person who helped me when i was in need,my believe for HUMANITY is strong.And today after this incident it grew even stronger.We all are human being but sometimes we forget to act as being human.But few incidents should not deter us from helping others as speaking truely there are many out there who really need a helping hand.I believe how small our efforts are it will surely bring a smile on someones face.And that smile is worth all the pain.


Thank you..!!!