Try hard with each passing second and one day you will realize that you are strong enough to conquer any obstacle on your way.

Friday, 26 April 2013

Baanwra dil...!!!


aaj baarish ki boondon ne kuch yun farmaya 
mujhe mere tanhapan ka ehsas firse dilaya,
yun toh ye ehsas har waqt mere sath hai
har zarre mein tumhari bewafai ka gam hai.

aaj bhi is baanwre dil ko samjhata hun
rail ki do patriyan kabhi mil nahi pate
majhdhar mein chod jane wale wapas nahi aate,
dil toh baanwra hai
wo toh aaj bhi kuch sapne dekhta hai,
bhuli bisri yaadon mein wo khush hota hai.

aksar ye palkein akele roya karta tha
baanwre dil ne bhi aaj inka saath diya.
aaj baarish ki boondon ne kuch yun farmaya 
mujhe mere tanhapan ka ehsas firse dilaya.

Thursday, 25 April 2013

Another birthday....!!!


When I woke up that day, it was raining heavily outside.Suddenly,something struck me in my head but I was not able to figure that out. Then I got a call from my mom and she wished me happy birthday. Yes,it was my birthday and I had turned 28 that day. Its hard to remember simple things of life when u are away from ur home, staying in an unknown city and serving  foreign clients 10-12 hrs a day.

As soon as I placed my cell, I received a call from Devina.She wished me the same and also asked whether I told my mother about our 2 yr old relationship – or not. That day I told my mother about my relationship with Devina. At first, she was shocked but then told me she  would like to meet  Devina . I was confident enough that she will like my choice. I booked a table for 3 in the most prestigious hotel of Mumbai. I always dreamt of taking my mother there. Having lost my father at an early age, my mother played dual role for me.She was everything to me right from my childhood.

After all the arrangements done,I called Devina to tell her about the plan. She was extremely happy that day. She even asked me whether she would wear a saree or a salwar. I suggested her to wear the salwar -which I gifted her around 2 months back on her bday. she agreed. Finishing my office works early, left for home, took my mother who arrived that morning in my apartment and we were on our way to THE TAJ, - the majestic Taj. Devina was already there as she had this quality unlike most of the girls reaching on time. She greeted my mother and we went inside the hotel.
I was eagerly looking for a plan so that I could leave both of them alone. I knew my mother would not be comfortable talking Devina in my presence..so I decided to leave them alone for few mins.As per my plan I left saying -that i have to attend an emergency  call and I will be back in 15-20 mins.I reached near Gateway of India  and  texted Devina saying I will be back in the next 20 mins.

I was enjoying the beauty of the sea from Gateway of india. For everyone who comes to Mumbai, be Indian or a foreigner  undoubtedly Gateway of india is one of the most favourite places to hang around in India.  Everyone loves  to enjoy the scenic beauty out there.The couples who were  sitting at the bank of the sea reminded me of Devina. Then I turned my head towards the magnificent TAJ standing tall. I was becoming restless guessing about their conversation .The only thing I was thinking about  was that whether my mother liked Devina or not.

 Suddenly everyone started running near the main entrance of Taj and sounds of gunshots can be heard clearly. I ran towards the gate but was not able to enter as everyone was coming out from the base floor of the hotel. I was thrown out – by the people .I asked someone who was just coming out from the hotel ”what is going on inside ?”..he was breathing heavily and replied-“few armed people are firing indiscriminately inside. And with this he got out of my sight in no time . My heartbeats stopped for a minute or so. After few minutes, it was clear to everyone present there that it is a terrorist attack and not any –Mumbaiya gangwar. The attack continued for almost 60 long hours. Those 60 hours were the worst time of my life like many others whose relatives  were trapped inside the Taj -in the hands of few men.

      I was praying for my mother and Devina. I was cursing myself for leaving them alone – but of no use, I couldn’t get them back to home with me. The only thing I can do was to pray and follow news related to Taj. I was dying every moment. Days seemed to be longer than years. Then after 60 long hours, the NSG commandoes brought the dead bodies out. And among -those dead bodies, two were mine – the two most important persons of my life, the two loveliest people I meet ever, Devina and my mother. The white salwar suit that I gifted Devina  had turned red , soaked in blood. For the first time  I was watching my mother taking a nap like that, still not able to believe that she will not wake up this time and say to me ”aaye shona,amar kache aaye”(Come my boy,come to me). Those 60 hrs took away the two most important women of my life and with which I also lost my voice like my mother and Devina . After 26/11 I died every time I saw a couple walking down the street or when a child playing with his mother. Everytime the news channels showed the documentaries of 26/11 attack I died many times watching it.

4 years passed,today  is my birthday.It was raining then and it is raining today as well.But I know that neither my mother nor Devina going to wish me today but  they are blessing me wherever they are.Life is getting worse day by day without them.Even the tears have dried up now. When I switched on my TV, I saw the news of Kasab, one of terrorists responsible for turning Taj into a war field on 26/11 and the lone terrorist caught alive hanged atlast. The news refreshed all the memories of that day. Everyone who suffered the attack try to forget but its impossible to wash out those images from our brain. Yes,this is indeed a happy moment for all of us,I lost all hopes that in this life,I will die without witnessing this moment.
After 5 days,when I will go to TAJ hotel for lighting the candles  with fellow survivors of that deadly attack,I can look up at the sky to both of them and can say that Kasab is dead now. But the real justice  wil be done when the actual perpetrator of the attack will be no more in this world.Not physically but when the thoughts they spread in the name of “Jihaad” inside the young men like Kasab -and others  will -get washed off. Executing Kasab will only feed a base blood lust that will make our society  more bloodthirsty and violent but with no doubt he doesn’t deserve anything less than that. Maybe it will take some time, but the death of Kasab has given us a ray of hope.

P.S.: This is a fictional one,completely based on my imagination.There are many true incidents and stories which are more depressing than this.26/11 taken place 4 years ago,those who haven’t suffered the attack for them this one is just like some other terrorist attack,but who survived the attack their lives are changed forever.RIP to all 166 people who lost  their life and also to all those brave mens who laid their lives saving our country like ASHOK KAMTE,VIJAY SALASKAR,HEMANT KARKARE,TUKARAM OMBLE,MAJOR SANDEEP UNNI KRISHNAN and many more.Our president did a great job rejecting the mercy petition of AJMAL KASAB .21st novemeber will be remembered for a long time.And lets hope that all those big fish behind this attack also be punished  as quickly as possible.The death of Kasab really given us that ray of hope.
----------------------
1st short fictional story by me... any feedback or suggestions would be appreciated..thanx :)

Saturday, 20 April 2013

Remaining days of college life..hum rahe ya na rahe yaad aayenge ye pal..!!!


Books everywhere
Scattered notes here and there,
Sound of ticking clock
makes me miserable,
And i shut my eyes
Drowned in my own thoughts
Everything around
Telling me time is going fast,
Moments are not going to last.

Slowly I walked down the memory lane
The past memories making me sane
Suddenly a figure appeared
Head bent low
Eyes with tears
But still a smile on the face
As if he dealt with the uncertainities
and came without any fear.

A few more miles down the lane
The figure appeared again
Head bent low
Scary eyes
But still a smile on the face
As if after many betrayals
Life rewarded him someone to trust again.

As I walked down the memory lane
A mosquito bite brought me back,
My eyes on the calender date
My heart skipped a beat
And it took some time
to get back in the rhythm.


The pumping organ realized
Saying GOODBYE to everyone is nearing,
It fought with the logical brain
For scolding him being emotional,
Brain also shouted back
"Idiot why are you unhappy??
You waited for the moment and the time is now."
No reply from the pumping organ
As it felt a void
And the logical organ won the argument.

Somehow scolding my heart
And keeping all emotions aside,
I looked through the window pane
Everything on the other side
Seemed to be an illusion,
Cold horror ran through my spine
Time is running fast
Wish i could slow down its pace.

Few odd days to go
To create some new memories
Which will be with me
When i will be all alone
To lead this stinking life,
And i shut my eyes
Drowned in my own thoughts
Everything around
Telling me time is going fast,
Moments are not going to last.

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Lost Chance..!!!


I read those lines again
which you said long ago
but today those words staring at me
as if i am the culprit.

Twenty one consonants
and five vowels 
gazing at me hard,
may be they are aware 
of your unsaid words.

I stare at the blank screen
or its the other way around,
I guess the screen stares hard
the blank life i am in.

You said i betrayed you
You blamed me ,
I never explained what i did 
because i know that wont fit.

Betrayal was not what i did
a little more time what i sought,
But you gave the deadline
which i failed to abide
and lost the chance.

Those dark brown eyes 
outlined with kohl,
eyes that said so much
but today they are shining
and the reason being someone else.

Wish that i could hit the SEND button
and clear the clouds between us
but like every other MAIL
and every suppressed words of mine 
this piece is too dumped in DRAFTS

I read those lines again
which you said long ago
but today those words staring at me
as if i am the culprit.


Monday, 15 April 2013

Help Strangers...You will be BLESSED..!!!





Life is moving fast and we are continuously running hard to accomplish our dreams.In this so called busy world we dont even look whether anyone needs a helping hand or not.And if by chance we care to look around,we still dont offer our helping hand because we are too busy with our own race.After reading a news headline i am just shocked and also sad.Lack of ethics and careless attitude by few people took away two innocent lives today.

The news headline "ROAD MISHAP TOOK TWO INNOCENT LIVES IN JAIPUR"  was common one in modern society.Its not anything new.Every day number of people die due to road accidents.The above mentioned headline is about a family which went through a catastrophe today.The father was riding his motorcycle through a tunnel accompanied by his 8 year old daughter,son and wife.When the man overtook a truck after driving few meteres in the tunnel then,a truck smashed him and sped away.Fortunately the man and his son survived but he lost his wife and 8 year old daughter.

The terrrible thing is that after the mishap took place the man cried for help for 10-20 minutes and no one bothered to stop.Not a single person helped them. Its when the tunnel maintenance workers noticed them and informed the police. By the time Ambulance arrived at the spot, the son had already lost his mother and sister.
But truely speaking the father is also responsible for the demise of his daughter and his wife.He will blame himself for killing them because the tunnel which he was driving through is banned for two wheelers.Stiil just to save  few minutes he took the risk.And the price he paid will haunt him for the remaining days of his life.
The son who survived would probably grow up without love and affection from his mother and sister.

So its a request to all of you who think that just because you have a two wheeler under your butt and you can win the race,
then please keep in mind that you are not only gambling with your life but some more lives may also get affected with you careless attitude.
And also if some of you come across any such incident then atleast give a thought and help them.You will be blessed.



Thank you..!!!



Thursday, 11 April 2013

GOODBYE..!!!




Its just a seven letter word if you know the basic rule of counting.But as you grow up,only the number of letters dont count.You also come to know that there is something more hidden behind that seven letter word.And then you almost start smashing your head on walls that why you grew up.

Just jotted down few lines while sitting idle on a rainy evening.Would like to know if you can connect yourself with the lines :)


Standing on the verge 
with hope in my eyes,
someone will believe me
because my eyes dont lie.

You chased the wrong one
for that i warned you many times
but it was of no use
as you thought i was holding you back.

I waited for you
to come back from your dreams,
but the wait seemed longer 
and atlast it broke me apart.

Down the years you will know
you had someone,
who only wished to walk beside you
not to hold your hands 
but to gaze at your eyes.

I tried my best and i tried hard
but a scar always remained 
which took off my guard.

I have no regret of leaving you
as i realized you left me long back
but still i was there
hoping for your come back.

You have ur priorites and i have mine
still we vowed to be in touch with time,
Now i know nothing can be undone
as those myths busted with passing time.

Life will never be the same
it wont be bad either
because i choose not to suffer
as i hv some other things to ponder
and some more miles to travel.

If someday our paths cross again
i will smile,
for the wonderful moments we spent
and the secrets we shared
till then i have to go away
to fight with the demon in me 
and to survive this deadly cob web around.

With hope in my eyes
that our paths will cross again
as you only made me believe
that hope never dies,
wishing you a haapy life
and believe me this is the final GOODBYE.


Thank you..!!!


Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Random thoughts..!!




insaniyat aap mein bhi hai,
insaniyat mujh mein bhi hai
bas fark sirf itna hai
aapko sirf wo ek shabd lagta hai,
mujhe  uska matlab bhi pata hai.


Got late for new blog post,the reason being the hectic schedule of college and project submission.I will come with some interesting post in the coming days.Ok now this is also going to be another boring blogpost but give it a shot if you want to.

Its just another incident that i gone through recently. We all have heard the line many times that from someone whom we expect a lot can also hurt us a lot.
But at times when you do not expect anything from someone but still you help them for the sake of humanity and only thing you are rewarded with is betrayal.
And then you realize that your concept of humanity is not respected by everyone.How much you do for them,it is not going to satisfy their needs.

Life is always a roller coaster ride.The ups and downs can never be predicted early in advance.But as human being we always try to predict the behaviour of ones whom we least expect to be harmlful for us.And this leads to ignorance which at times can be a fatal one and can strike you so hard that hardly u will be given time to cope up with the blow.
The horrible thing is that they dont even regret after doing so.

Today we had our project submision.And for developing the system i worked hard.I know exact and detail information about the system i made.While submitting i noticed the guy beside me busy with his codes.But when i called one of the faculty to check my project,he just said that the guy beside me showed him the same project.For a moment i didnot get what he was saying to me but after he went to check other projects,the guy beside me told me that he just showed  my project to sir.And he was saying that to with ease.No regret or whatsoever on his face.I helped many with codes but he never asked me for any help.I mailed it to one of my friend and he just took it from him that i came to know later.Many times in past i helped him when he was in need not beacuse he was a dear friend of mine.Only because someone helped me once when i was a complete stranger to him.So i made it a point to help anyone who is in need if it is possible for  me.But today he proved me wrong.I dont have any hard feelings for him just because he showed my work.Because i know that i worked hard with the design part and the code.I only felt bad because his behaviour compelled me to think about the term 'HUMANITY'.In the coming days i will be cautious helping someone and about my work.

But still for that strange person who helped me when i was in need,my believe for HUMANITY is strong.And today after this incident it grew even stronger.We all are human being but sometimes we forget to act as being human.But few incidents should not deter us from helping others as speaking truely there are many out there who really need a helping hand.I believe how small our efforts are it will surely bring a smile on someones face.And that smile is worth all the pain.


Thank you..!!!