Try hard with each passing second and one day you will realize that you are strong enough to conquer any obstacle on your way.

Sunday, 25 June 2017

Random Scribbling :-)

Finally, after a gap of 3 long years I am writing something that does not have an addressee and when I do not have to ponder about the typos, the formal tone that I need not to maintain throughout the conversation, the usual corporate world jargon's that I do not have to use to let know of my importance in this corporate industry.

I still think about those days when TIME used to be a flowing river and I never hesitated to take a mug full of water from it and use it according to my own terms. Today, I somehow have lost the MUG from my life though the river has not entirely dried up. 

Few lines that just I wrote down while gulping down the coffee hurriedly because I need to log off for now :-)

aaj waqt se maine dosti kar li hai,
kyuki usse dushmani mod lene ki aukat mujh mein nahin
aaj fizaon se maine firse kuch baatein kar li hain,
kyuki usse mooh modne ki aukat ab mujh mein nahin
aaj tere yaadon se maine saare uljhe rishte suljha lie hain.
kyuki tere haqiqat se mulaqat karne ki wo izazat aab mere rooh ko nahin :-) 

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

adhure khwaab ...!!!!!!

aaj neend khuli toh tujhe na jane kyon aur apne kareeb mehsoos kiya,
shayad tera yun lukachupi mere khwaab mein aane ka hi asar hai,
warna meri itni khuskismati kaha
ki tere wajood ko mai itne kareeb se mehsoos kar paau.

Friday, 14 March 2014

Good bye KOLKATA :)

Goodbye Kolkata,

It has been a beautiful journey of 22 yrs with you.Lets hope we meet after 3 months and even we dont,i would have enough memories of yours to feed me till i come back again.
I can never thank you for the ways you have helped me to stand on my feet after i stumbled everytime.You have taught me to let people go from my life and let them live a happy life without me as it would make their life a better place.You have taught me everything which helps a baby to transform into a man.

I dont have much words to describe what i am feeling right now because i have no more emotions left in me.Every emotion got drained away in past one year.
There are many "I wish i could" type memories i have but i dont want to think about them as they make me weak.
I dont know what is waiting for me their but i will always keep the learnings in my mind which you have taught me.
I will take it as it comes.
Just give every happiness to them to whom i have caused pain.

Will meet you again till then GOODBYE.

R@y of hope

Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Book Review : Life is Always Aimless .... Unless You Love it

Life is Always Aimless .... Unless You Love it
Do we you really know how much courage is required to listen to our own heart? 
Meet Akash, an young engineer, who dreams of becoming a writer. But all his works meet with is rejection from publisher. Will he ever be rewarded for listening to his heart? 
Smitten by wanderlust, adventurous Sandip does not care much about career, marriage or making a family. How will life treat him for listening to his heart? 
Possessor of a charming personality, Chirag, has a deep perchant for women. But deep down the motherless Chirag is temibly lonely. What is in store for this vulnerable young man? 
Maria Fernandez is a lonely and a less-than- looking young girl who firmly believes that possossing a tender heart is enough to make her world beautiful. Will ruthless life shatter her belief? 
As their life got seamlessly inter-wined with many others they realized that Life is Always Aimless .... Unless You Love it. 

Some books after you finished reading yet you yearn for some more pages which will depict what would happen next with the main protagonist of the story after the author put his final word followed by the last dot in the book.Life is Always Aimless .... Unless You Love it is one among them.Few of my friends suggested me this book a while ago.After i read the title and synopsis,i knew that it would be another emotionally woven story from Shristi publishers,so without wasting any time i ordered the book. The story is written by a debutant author Ratnadip Acharya who lives in the city of dreams -Mumbai and professionally he is an Electrical engineer though after i finished reading the book i got confused whether his real profession is engineering or writing.He is also a well trained street magician and a traveller.

The story revolves around four characters Sandip,Chirag,Maria and Akash being the main protagonist.Every character is somehow interconnected with each other yet pole apart with their thoughts.

Akash, who dreams to earn his living by making writing his profession,is an average looking boy.He constantly fights with the obstacles to keep his dream alive.Sometimes he has to kick his conscience hard when every ray of hope is parting from his life like a setting sun.But he knows that the dawn is not far away when the warm sunrays would greet his doorstep leading him to his dreamland.

Sandip,who believes to live each moment of life to its zenith.Someone who enjoys travelling all over the places as if a king is travelling his kingdom to know his people in a better way.While leaving each place he feels the pain of a mother getting detached from her childrens.He doesnot care about marriage or making a family.But whether he would be rewarded for his care free attitude or would be drowned is beautifully portrayed in the book.

Chirag,who has a charming personality enough to arouse the desires of any girl is what makes him popular among girls.But yet somewhere deep down his heart he longs for affection and love.Even after sleeping with girls he feels that it cannot fill the void created by the absence of maternal love.Whether he achieves ultimate affection or not is something you would want to find till last. 

Maria,a below average looking girl who is least bothered about her external looks and believes that all that a girl need to have is a tender and beautiful heart which she has.To her all that matters about a person is whether he/she does possess a beautiful and compassionate heart or not.But sometimes her conscience compells her to think whether the boy for whom she fell would get to look at her beautiful heart or her external imperfections would sheild the road to her beatuiful heart from him.

To me it is a beautiful story which tells you that life is not about making plans and executing them.It is also to enjoy each moment while executing the plans because you are not guaranteed of reaping the joys later.You hardly know what is coming on the way.Seldom we feel good about small things in life but real happiness comes from this small things which are priceless.Few lines in the book touched my heart and i have marked them.But there are few editing mistakes which really is disturbing and one hardly expects it from Shristi publishers.There are few places where you would get a jolt about the sudden turn that the author has taken.The flow is good and so is the narrative style.At first a bit slow but steadily it engrosses you completely.

Looking for more works from Ratnadip Acharya in coming days.

Sunday, 2 March 2014

The show must go on :)

The same route
The same bus
The same fare
The same stoppage
And yet something pulls me back
I could have sent my father to take the marksheet
For a moment i regret of coming at this place again
But i cannot runaway now
I must enter the gates as time is running.

I take out my ID card as its mandatory now
I do not belong to this place anymore
They check my face with the photo on the card
They allow me to enter the place
I look at those stairs which i climbed many times
I look at the water cooler but the faces are new
I look at the library and hear giggles all around
For a moment i sit on the time machine
To reverse wheel of the clock
And i can see those happy faces including mine
I look at that green table and wooden chair
And a boy sitting their with his best pal
When I try to look closer i found solace
Soon the dream is broken by the head librarian
The clearance certificate  is ready and he wishes me good luck
For the last time i look at that table
But the boy is all alone their without his pal
I smile and go out of the library
I show my clearance certificate and take my marksheet
Time limit of my stay is over almost
I look back at the building for the final time
And "LIFE GOES ON", i whisper only.........

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Hats off to you girl..!!!

Sometimes you think you are the one who is getting fucked everyday and your life is in complete mess.Then you meet with someone whose life is not only fucked up more than yours but he/she has to fight everyday with death to live.And you realize that you are blessed to have a life that you were cursing few minutes ago.
Last month as i went for an interview in Mumbai and waiting outside,a person came to me and started talking to me.He told me that his daughter was inside and having her technical round going on.He asked me about my college and the courses i opted after college.I told him that i was already placed in some other MNC and came for that interview only to accompany a friend of mine from Kolkata.
He told that his daughter did not get a job in last one year and never stopped trying.Our chit chat was going normal till then when he suddenly said that his daughter has diabetes.She was born with type 1 diabetes and she needs insulin thirce a day.Her father was telling me that the only reason he wanted  her daughter to get the job so that she could become independent and not be dependent on anyone for her expenses.I started praying for her as she was battling with the interviewers.
After the rounds got over, her father introduced her to me.The only thing i could say was "Good luck,you will get the job".She smiled and wished me the same.
Later her father called me and told that she got the job.I was happy from inside.The happiness was more because a close friend of mine whom i accompanied also cleared the interview.I will write about that in my next post.But that girl inspired me in more than one way.She is an inspiration to all i guess.

Hats off to you girl,
For the courage you have shown,
For the hardwork you have done,
For lighting up the soul of many who have met you before,
I was broken with little issues of mine,
Like many I was hopeless and thought things would go hard
But your character affected me in more than one way,
I cannot thank you for the change you brought in me,
Cause my words wont be able to soothe the pain you have.

When you were inside the room,
Fighting with the interviewers for the job,
For a moment you might have thought,
That your failure would affect your father,
Believe me girl you were right,
Your failure would have affected your father,
He would have hugged you more tightly,
He would have kissed your pain more passionately,
Cause your existence in this world is everything to your father.

We might not have talked for hours,
We might not know each other for long,
But being a stranger, you have taught me, 
How to deal with pain and still smile, 
I prayed for you so that you get the job,
Not because that job would measure your credibility,
But because people like you should be reawarded,
And then our eyes met for the first time,
You might have felt awkward being stared by a stranger,
What a shameless i am as i admit that i was staring at you,
Cause your eyes were radiating positive rays and body was radiating positive vibes.

Then few words we spoke and then we wished each other,
Had the venue not been an interview location,
I would have touched your feet happily,
You have kicked every obstacle that came in front of you,
You have not let your fathers hope getting smashed,
You have survived each day and scared death to come,
People like you make this world a better place,
People like you are an inspiration for many,
I wish you all the luck for your battle with life, 
Hats off to you girl,
I cannot thank you for the change you brought in me,
Cause my words wont be able to soothe the pain you have.

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Let me look back for a final time and salute you 2013 for your lessons.Lets hope 2014 to be a surprise package for me :)

Its only few hours left to bid adieu 2013.Once again the wheel of a year has nearly completed its rotation.It is said that a year when it is about to end,takes away the footprints that it left on the canvas of our life.Even some of my friends are wishing that we should let go the hard lessons of 2013 and embrace the good lessons.

If you really give the above mentioned thought a piece of your mind then i think you really would not want to let go the hard lessons,will you?
Atleast I wont.
I will embrace them too.They taught me many things and made me a strong person than i was a year before.All these 22 years of my existence,cutting out first 3-4 years,this year has been the most learning experience for me.Well dont dare to think that i am talking about academic lessons.Yeah I know you guys are intelligent enough not to entertain that thought.HAHA
Jokes apart,no one in the entire universe can teach you these lessons untill and unless you experience them.It is somewhat similar doing experiments during your practical session when you would brim with joy once the outcome matches with the pre calculated results and failure would guarantee that the apparatus are destroyed in an irrevocable way.These are called LIFE LESSONS.
The year 2013 taught me few lessons that i would keep reading often in the coming years

1)Be good to the world,But dont always expect the world to be good with you-

There were instances in the past four years of my engineerig life when i was approached by many for a helping hand.Not all of them were my close buddies but i never had second thought before extending my hand and though i did that without expecting any return still i had thought that they would stand by me when i would encounter any problem.But that didnot happen.Even got backstabed from few of them.So 2013 taught me that i should not expect good from everyone with whom i had been good in the past.

2)Expect and let your expectations be broken.Its a healthy thing-

There are people who say DO NOT EXPECT after your expectations are broken by someone close to you.I dont know why those morons are even alive and how could they utter those three words,like as if uttering those words would obliterate all the painful memories from your mind.Let me tell you something,if you pee daily and if you have your nature's call daily then  believe me expecting from your close ones is as normal as experiencing the former ones.Eventually your expectations will be broken but use that experience in future so that you dont suffer the same from that person again.
This year i have learned this lesson.For the first time i had refused to learn anything but i was lucky as my expectations were thrased away soon which ultimately coerced me to learn the lesson as an obedient student.

3)Memories will remind you of your past,But dont just run to end up discovering the MIRAGE.

If you are a  Grey's Anatomy maniac then you would probably know the line once said by Meredith Grey-

"Sometimes the past is something you just can't let go of. And sometimes the past is something we'll do anything to forget. And sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present."

Yes the past is something you just cat let go of.But you need not carry everything from your past with you.For a particular period of time you must forget the bad experiences that few of your trusted ones rewarded you with.You dont only live for them.Your parents and friends who really care for you and have been with you when you witnessed the bad side of few people then its your responsibility to fulfill their expectations too.They are the ones you should live for.There are times when you ignore people for the extra care that they offer and end up being with the ones who donot give a damn to your presence in their life.But once you are no loger in touch with them,memories of the time spent with them flocks back  and you start missing them.Even after your trust is broken once,still you go back and try to fix things because by then you have realized that they deserve another chance,so you try to sort thigs out.
You think that it would be better if giving them another chance would let you  go back to the happy old times.And in the process of doing that, you just only discover that its a MIRAGE that you were following as they have already moved on.

Once you have discovered the MIRAGE then nomore you loiter on those lanes.You keep yourself immeresed in some other activities and try hard to forget about those times.Sometimes you are successfull in doing that and sometimes you are't bcoz at night when you close your eyes, your conscience ask why you are trying to change just because you had bad experiences with few.But you are short of any words and bury those questions and prepare yourself for the next day.
You silently wish them on their birthday and congratulate them on their success because by that time you have realized the power of silence and the power of blessing someone from heart rather than sending some long messages.

So you learn something about your past that changes your perspective about your present.You take things differently.You build up walls around you so that your trust cannot be played with anymore.

2013 has taught me the meaning of the line that Meredith once said.It taught me the art of letting go.I did let go some buddies from my life this year.Sometimes i keep myself immersed in few things so much that i dont even get enough time to think about them.And sometimes when i get free time to look back, i could able to figure out the mistakes i made choosing  them and my perspective about the life i am leading at present changes.Looking back sometimes does help me to not repeat those mistakes once again.
I always wish them  silently from my heart on their birthday and on their success because that is what i have always dreamt of.But I do not chase the MIRAGE anymore.

4)Acceptance is a major painkiller-
One day while surfing i read the line  somewhere and it striked me hard at that particular second.I was incapale to digest it.I was cursig  him/her for writing this line and also praising his imagiation.I thought how accepting things as they are,could give anyone peace.At that time my life was at real mess.Well to be honest it is somewhat the same condition now but yeah i can guarantee you about the authenticity of the line.I am way more at peace with my life than i was back then.The problems might not have gone away but i have the strength to deal with them.
Accepting things give you inner strength to deal with the problems broad mindedly.I have accepted my mistakes also as they taught me few thigs.I have accepted the wrong decisions i took in trusting some and the chances i have given them to prove their worth.For few days i did curse me but it only affected me in a negative way.But the day i accepted my wrong decisions and decided to look forward was the day i came to know what inner peace really is.

           As i sit back in this room of mine which is no less than heaven for me and which has witnessed me during my success and failure, is also expressionless because my days in this heaven of mine are numbered.So many emotions are playing summer sault inside me.So many sleepless nights i have spent inside this room.It has been the sole witness of my life.But time has come to go out of this den and to survive into a world which is almost full of hypocrites and persons who just want you according to their needs and according to their wish.2013  made me face those persons a bit more closely.Sometimes i miss their presence in my life but i think its better to be with few friends who would stand beside me when i will be faced with some problems rather than being with them who just need me according to their moods and their needs.I have forgiven them for what they did and i also have forgiven me for choosig them into my life.No more i regret for the mistakes i did while trusting them.I have accepted every bad and good experiences that i had in 2013.

I dont know what 2014 holds for me but what i know is that life can be really great if you are surrounded by right people around you.Dont just let wrong people affect your happiness.People who really love you for what you are as a person will never leave when the circumstances are not in your favour.Yes you will feel the pain at the time of letting go of some whom you have thought that their presence in your life is a necessity.But TRUTH is painful.You have to accept that.

Wish you all a very HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Let 2014 not only fulfill all your wishes but also give you the strength to encounter any problem in your life.Stay Blessed :)